My name's Adam.
I'm twenty-eight years
old and from Chicago

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I stole this shirt while Fidel was under.


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Sunday, January 02, 2005
What I Meant to Say

Long before the new year has had a chance to thrust of the yolk of yesterday’s dead expectations, we may be overcome with the peculiar sensation that it could never accurately mirror the feelings we want it to project. Tossing whatever fears, dreams, losses, aches or inhuman promises we can into the collective void of time, we may have already done a huge disservice to the outward mobility of internal/external compromise. As I mentioned last year at about this time, the new year—any new year—is a concept completely inimical to the self-conscious because it supplants the organic desire to evolve with an artificial reawakening resting fallacious notes of a forced societal newness.  New Years resolutions, for example, remain steadfast (at least for now) as both the tip of the iceberg and the iceberg itself because after all, what are resolutions but pledges and what are pledges but promises to the self to affect the outer-self? While it’s undoubtedly cynical to assert that in principle the impetus always negates the action, I’m inclined to think it does so by action. But many disagree with me. Hegel for example, in his Phenomenology of the Spirit, asserts that, “self-consciousness exists…only in being acknowledged,” hence giving a degree legitimacy to the existence of self-awareness only through external media and to action only by way of reaction. Still, the question then begs to asked, “can one subdue the para-conscious climes of the soul (provided one believes in the idea, which I do) simply be seeing its reflection on the world?” Must one necessarily feel the rain to know it’s raining? To the resolution makers out there, New Years is the pavement beneath the impending shower, the confirmation of the promised blank slate. And hey, that’s all well and good; I’m certainly not going to take anything away from them. At least they’re taking some kind of bull by some kind of horn and who’s to say that the end result will be anything short of miraculous, but just I can’t resign myself to aligning the earth’s rotations with my own. I turn when I want. 

Posted at 10:11 pm by: Selfindulgence

January 3, 2005   05:50 PM PST
..."she was the underground...comfortable only in the dark, soft earth...until she realized that the earth, too, is tilted on it's axis."...

something i once wrote about myself..

we all turn ad..and we all tilt, too
January 2, 2005   11:40 PM PST
ah but we all turn when we want, in the end.

even those who turn with the earth. coincidence, at best.


January 2, 2005   11:07 PM PST
Since we began our ritualization and lineation of time, we've followed the system very closely. Granted, the concept of New Years is cursory, but resolutions are all in the name of self-betterment, so perhaps it's a positive thing.

Still, I can't blame you for wanting to live outside of the system. It's extremely superficial.

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